iluvmygirlz's Blog

Another tough day....

today would have been my dad's 65th birthday...

They say that time heals....but I'm still waiting.

Guess I'm just in a funk.

Thanks for letting me vent...

 

Just thought I'd stop by to share some really great news.......I got into nursing school!!!!!  I start in the fall...we are all soooo excited.  I've been working on my pre-req's for a long time and finally all the hard work paid off.  But the hard work is just starting!!!  I just had to share....so stop in and say hi!!!

A month from today will mark the fastest year of my life.  Miss Gabby will be the big 1!!  I can't believe how fast the time goes.  I guess since this is my baby (Veronica is 6) I want the time to go as slow as possible.  She will be walking soon, has 2 teeth, and loves big people food.  Sometimes I just stare at her while she is sleeping or playing, she is so sweet and loving.  At times I wish I could have more ( I probably say that since I know that there is no way too!) and I find it hard to believe that I was so upset when I found out I was pregnant with her.  After all Veronica was suppost to be an only child.  But Gabby is definatly my angel baby and such a blessing.  Ok now everyone go hug your babies!!

Love,

Marie

Since Jana and Jennette are probably busy today on the camp out.  I am taking this oppertunity to toot my own horn!

HAPPY 7 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME AND MY HUBBY!!!!!!

I would add a picture if I knew how!!! LOL

This morning my oldest is watching the movie 8 below with Paul Walker (ya know the guy from the fast and furious movie).  It's about sled dogs trapped at the south pole.  It is a great movie for the whole family to watch together.

So my question is what is your families favorite movie to sit down and watch together?

As many of you know my dad passed away on Monday.  The furneral was today, and was by far the hardest thing I have ever went through.  Thank you sooo much to my blogging friends for all your kind words, prayers, and support.

I was talking with Veronica last night and I asked her what she thought pa pa was doing in heaven right this moment?  She said playing with our German Shepard Maverick that we lost almost 2 years ago.  Then I asked her what she thought pa pa's heaven was like?  I told her I thought there was alot of golf courses and he could have White Castle any time he wanted.  She laughed and added that there were alot of rivers and lakes with lots of fish in them.

What do you hope is in your heaven??

Well it is official as of 2:40 this morning, Labor Day is my least favorite holiday.

My dad suddenly lost his battle with lung cancer.

He has been doing AMAZING...and then yesterday...POOF.

He was having a hard time breathing yesterday, we just thought it was another bout of pnenomia.  But his lung had popped and filled with blood.  They intubated him and once me and Brian got to the hospital they told us that he would never come off the ventilator.  His O2 level was 55% with 100% oxygen.  90 is at least we should be.  So it sucked, we decieded to take him off the vent.  He breathed on his own for awhile and when my cousin came into the room he took his last breath. 

This really sucks.....that is the all the emotion I can come up with right now.  We haven't told Veronica yet, which is REALLY gonna suck, since they were best friends.

Sorry for the downer on the holiday weekend.

Love-----> Marie

Man I'm gone off the blogs for a few days and now I'm totally out of the loop!!!

I work 3  12 hour shifts in a row (sleep..work...sleep)  and then go and spend a weekend with the parents and family.  Then I come back and the blogs have been invaided by spammers!!!  And we have to wait till our stuff gets approved! 

Geez, we can't even have some nice and friendly (well most of the time) blogging.  Now your gonna tell me that the sky if falling right?

Well none the less it is great to be back!!

Well I might have figured out the most difficult job in the world.  Some of you bloggers do this and you can have it. 

Stay at home mom......

I have been on vacation for 8 days now, home with the girls.  We didn't do much the oldest had alot of activities last week, so I took some vacation time.  But now I think I'm ready to head back to work!!  Sure I don't like having to wake up at 4:30 in the morning, the traffic on 270, or having to pay a babysitter.  But this staying at home business might be for the birds!!!  Don't get me wrong I love my kids bunches and bunches, but if I have to watch one more day of PBS kids or trying to keep my 6 year old occupied.  I may jump off a bridge.  I need some adult interaction LIKE NOW!! And lets not even get me started on all this housework! 

So my hats off to all you stay home moms...you soooo have the hardest job in the world!! 

But probably in a few days when I am sitting in traffic, or one of my patients has their grandkids visit them I will be wishing I was at home with my kids.

I have a favor to ask of my blogging friends.  There is a benefit Saturday here in Desoto to help a family in need.  If you remember there was a chemical spill at a plant in Fenton.  Well, a man died and left behind a wife and 4 kids all under 12 years old.  This hits close to home for me because I have worked with this mans wife, my daughter is friends with their kids, and their family is my next door neighbors.  As a wife and mother to small children I can't imagine the pain that they are feeling.  Please see attached information that I have copied and pasted from the suburban journal.  Please do anything you can to help..... thanks so much!!!   Please excuse the ad from Jefferson college, I can't delete that part.

DE SOTO: Fund-raiser to benefit widow and children
Saturday event to include live music, games

By Kevin Carbery
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 1:51 PM CDT

A day of entertainment is set for Saturday at the De Soto Knights of Columbus hall to assist the family of a man killed in an industrial accident in May.

Daniel Gillam died May 14 from the effects of a chemical spill that occurred four days earlier at his work in Fenton. The 32-year-old left behind a wife, Brandi, and four children--Cassandra, Tyler, Colten and Austen--between the ages of 2 and 12.

"They're holding up, I guess, as well as they can," Dennis Gillam, Daniel's uncle, said. "Leaving behind such a young family, it's been tough on his wife and kids and parents.

"Red tape from workmen's comp has been a struggle. It's been a nightmare. They're still dragging their feet."

So, to assist the widow and her children, Dennis Gillam has enlisted the members of his band to perform as part of the benefit festivities, called Family Fun Day and Dance to benefit Gillam Family Trust Fund. He is a founding member of GTO, a popular regional group that sometimes performs as Alter Ego. "This is a chance for this community of ours to step up to the plate and do something for this family," Dennis Gillam said. "If you can't make it, do what you can. If you have something you can donate to the silent auction or can donate to the trust fund, we'd appreciate it."

Events of the day start at 11 a.m. There will be a barbecue, horseshoe and washers tournaments, children's games and other featured activities during the day.

"We'll have people coming in dressed as superheroes," Dennis Gillam said. "Kids can have their pictures taken with them."

A silent auction offering such items as St. Louis Cardinal and St. Louis Ram memorabilia will run from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.

A dance featuring the GTO/Alter Ego musicians is scheduled for 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. The cost is $15 per ticket.

"A lot of people know us," Dennis Gillam said of his group.

Daniel Gillam had no life insurance and his wife lost her job a month before he died.

"We still have a funeral to pay for, a headstone to pay for," Dennis Gillam said. "The family needs to be able to have some of the pressure taken off them."

Donations may be made to: Gillam Family Trust, c/o National City Bank, 224 South Main Street, De Soto, Mo. 63020.

For more information, contact Dennis Gillam at 636-337-4861 or by e-mailing him at dgillam@gtoband.com.

The De Soto Knights of Columbus Hall is located at 13225 Route E.

CANCER

so we've know that my dad has cancer for awhile but I think it is all just catching up to me.

A couple of years ago my dad was diagnosed with Renal Cancer and they had to take out one of his kidneys, no big deal right 'cause the kidney is gone so the cancer left with it.

WRONG

So then we found out that the renal cell cancer spread to lungs..and of course not just a little spot that can be removed, its everywhere.  Long story short he did try some treatments and they did work for awhile.  But now they aren't and the doctors said that there is really nothing left to do but wait.  He has already beaten the odds.  The normal life expectantcy is 6-8 months for this type of renal cell cancer and he's already had it for over 2 years.

He was in the hospital over the long weekend and came home on oxygen, I guess that's when it finally hit me.  I work in a hospital and see death and dying alot but its different when its your dad.  I makes me soooo mad, I'm one of those people who want to fix everything and everyone and this time I can't.

I have a really great support system in my husband, family, friends, and co-workers.  But I still sucks!  I wanted him to see me finish college, see Veronica get to high school, and at least see Gabby start Kindergarden, but now I don't know.

Please pray for my dad and our family........thanks

What if Independence Day was not on July 4th and not even in summer?

My husband and I sometimes have very weird conversations especially what if conversations....Independence Day is all about celebrating our country, BBQ's and fireworks.  But what if Independence Day was say the 4th of February or November, how would our celebrations change???

I told you we have weird conversations........ 

Nothin' like a nice evening and a ride of the back of a motorcycle to relax ya!!  Friday night I told my first motorcycle ride in 2 years.  Last summer I was pregnant with Gabby and couldn't ride.  This year so far has just been CRAZY...between my husband starting a new job, my dad being sick, and a new baby plus a six year old you sometimes just can't find the time.  But Friday night I had to take the girls over to my mom and dad's to spend the night since me and my husband had to work Saturday, when I got home my husband was on his way out the door to put the motorcycle away for the night.  He has been driving it to work some days because of gas prices.  I thought hey we have an empty house....we can actually take a ride on the bike!!!  So off for a quick trip around town...what a way to relax!!!!

I was reading an article about how Kellogs has to make their childrens cereal more healthy and not market to kids.  To me this is crazy, no more Tony the Tiger, Tocan Sam, or Snap, Crackle, Pop?  We all grew up with these characters!  Now the government is saying they are bad for our kids, because after all childhood obesity is up.   Did anyone stop and think that maybe our kids are overweight because us as parents think that it is okay to use video games,  the internet, and T.V. as babysitters?  Here's a thought GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!  And maybe just maybe lets go outside with them....and do things as a family.  I remember as a kid that's all I did, even as an only child there was always something to do and explore.  I know times are different now, but there has to be a way to keep our kids healthy.  Us as parents have to put our foot down and say no more Cheetos, why not have an apple.  If they throw a fit about wanting junk food, they will get over it (I promise :) ).  Hopefully my first blog didn't sound like a crazy lady ranting and raving....now talk amongst yourselves.