Deb's thoughts

I agree Tommy, invest time with them and have confidence in your ability to be a parent. We will all make mistakes, there is no perfect parent, we just do the best we can.

hmm....well kids should be kids and not have to be scared,(thats one view)
kids should know what its like to have ups and downs in life(thats another view)
kids need to know they are not being punished for something They did,and their parents are not all of a sudden taking everything away they enjoyed and possibly in fear of losing the roof over their heads and moving in with grandma because of them. (another view)its a good time to break out some of the old games and find cheap entertainment for the whole family,though.....

Gal4Christ, I know as a child I did feel safe, I knew the grownups were in charge.

Of course there are somethings they need to be told, obviously if a parent looses as job or if the family has to move, but I know parents that don't just tell them things that are going on = they involve them in the discussions and almost ask their permission. I have heard them ask "What do you think we should do" I actually heard a parent ask this of a 5 yr old! How safe do you think that child felt?

When things went bad when I was young, (the OLD days) my mom would tell us, but she would be telling us the decisions she had already made - she'd listen to what ever we had to say, but her decision was made. It was that firmness that I think gave us our sense of safety.

Kids today get $200 tennis shoes - do they REALLY need $200 tennis shoes? If they want those, what is wrong with babysitting, cutting grass, doing odd jobs to get the money to buy them? Does a 4 year old really need a birthday party that cost $500. Why does a 2 year old need a tv in their room? If we give our children everything they want, what happens when they are adults and actually have to earn the money to buy things?

MissDaisy, I have one for you:
Money doesn't grow on trees.

I think some times we worry so much about being the "perfect" parent - we are so afraid of damaging their self esteem, of saying no, of not giving them every thing they think they want - of making sure we involve them in every decision, that we are forgetting to teach them to cope. Sometimes the best answer you can give a

MissDaisy, my mother's favorite - Because I am the mother, and that's the way it is.

Or when I would say, but everyone has one, or everyone is doing it - If everyone jumped off the bridge, would you? or EVERYONE is not my child, you are.

I honestly believe we are so worried about damaging their self esteem, or saying NO that we give in, we treat them as adults even when they are 3 or 4; we give them a fantasy world where everyone loves them, every one thinks they are the best, most wonderful person in the world - then they get into high school or middle school or out in the real world and someone doesn't like them - or someone doesn't think they are the most wonderful person in the world and they don't know how to handle it.
That is what leads to school shootings or so many children committing suicide.

Parents we need to be Parents. It really is Ok if our children don't like what we say or do. Let them know the Adult is in charge.

Good ones that I forgot Deb and Jimmy.. I often heard.. money doesn't grow on trees..lol And if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? lol Yes, and when I was your age.. I used that one, Jimmy.

Here's what I'm thinking.. looking on the bright side of our disasterous economy.. we may all have the best Christmases yet! Just like they used to be and should be.. before great commercialism and overspending. Spending TIME with our families. Emjoying each other's company rather than opening expensive gifts and all the shopping and stress. I hope this happens!

I meant to say that the kids still talk about that Christmas AS being one of the best they ever had.

Well in Ohio my birth parents would teach you sceems..You helped out or you got NOTHING so I got nothing..I did learn things from watching them..Like you can't sue the goverment but you can sue the person your dealing with persnoly..

Here I learned to trust people not all but most and to not be scared to say something..

But money I am sorry I do not like it nor do I care about it...I do care about people and so will fight for them the best way I know how..

I have never been a parent but I am an Aunt and I tried not to worry my niece and nephew about food woes until recently. I can't afford no more to take them out for chinese or pizza so we just muddle through with what i have but it's not very much when they come to visit.

This recession is getting serious. They aren't calling it a recession but to me it's a recession when you can't put gas in your car and there's barely enough to eat to get you through a month.

yes I know about them and plan on using them.
Thanks though for the link.

I loved reading about your favorite Christmas. I think that during these economic times,it is especially important to get back to basics with our families...Children would never admit it but being together and making memories is what they really enjoy and it is what they need. I always enjoy your posts!
God bless
Nan