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by WebsterGroves from Webster Groves

Last Post 30 days, 19 hours Ago


In anticipation of what is expected to be a long wait for the next measurable snowfall in the St Louis area, weather bloggers have turned to group therapy sessions to combat the anxiety, depression, paranoia, and the resultant unhealthy behaviors associated with the frustration of waiting for snow.
group therapy
The weather bloggers hold their thrice-weekly group therapy sessions at an undisclosed location

Those weather bloggers who are not currently incarcerated, awaiting trial, or banned for threatening behavior have agreed to meet approximately 3 times a week for support and coping strategies.

One blogger, chain smoking with lit cigarettes in each hand and balancing a warm tumbler of whiskey on his knee, voiced the concern the group has regarding the fear they have that it will never snow again. In a shaking voice he told his story and ended it on a desperate note. "I mean, I had over a foot on that last one. I just know that is never going to happen again, man. Ever. Do you HEAR ME? I'm so scared that it's over." He inhaled deeply and began quietly sobbing, "It's going to be so #$%#$ hot here this summer, I don't think I can get through this again. Someone is going to have to pay." Other group members nodded and murmured their concerns.

This is an odd and eclectic group whose secrecy borders on outright paranoia. No Channel 2 employees or staff members are allowed to attend and the group demands to meet in a locked, password-protected room, provided and paid for by Fox2. As members took turns telling their personal stories, they were occasionally interrupted by text messages from other bloggers wanting to come in the room.

"Hey...anyone know W--------?", asked a college-aged blogger, "he wants in and keeps asking for the password...yes or no?"

"NO!", many of the bloggers instantly responded. A particularly authoritative-bordering-on-obnoxiously-rude blogger screamed "Do not even answer that text...do you hear me? Do NOT answer him...ignore him!"

Other requests were met with replies of "Oh yeah, that person's cool, let 'em in" or "I don't know" repeatedly until the person making the request gave up after texting increasingly angry and curse-laden messages.

These interruptions continued to pepper the storytelling with the occasional blogger being let in and welcomed warmly by the bloggers.

There are moments of hope, such as when one blogger brought up the recent earthquakes and aftershocks. All agreed it was a great moment that left them elated, but fearful of hoping for more. "Look, we need at least a 6 here before I can start to get happy about this," said one blogger, "and I would really be jazzed by something in the sevens -
not that I would hope for any death or destruction, of course. I mean who wants THAT? Well, you know, not much any way. Not really. I mean, what happens, happens, and it's not my fault if a huge friggin quake splits the earth...."

A volunteer group leader cleared her throat and suggested that the group should perhaps "move along." One blogger suggested that maybe the group could "get into" crop circles since it's "kind of a spring and summer-type occurrence" and
"we have all of southern Illinois...it could happen." A quick vote of the group nixed that idea since all agreed it was not really "weather". An erudite young blogger summed it up by noting that "waiting for a front that to move in that will probably dissipate right before it hits the metro is agonizing enough....can you imagine how strung out we'd all be waiting for crop circles??"

At this point. things took a turn for the worse. Possibly sensing the inevitability of a frustrating wait all summer for the chance to wait for snow in the fall, the mood turned ugly and the paranoia flared.

"Hey, when did he get here," one of the members said, pointing to a blogger who goes only by the number "2" and who had thus far remained silent. "Who let him in?"
confrontation
A weather blogger confronts a silent group therapy member suspected of being a management interloper. Paranoia is common among the bloggers.

The group quickly turned en masse on this particular person firing questions at him "Who ARE you, anyway? Did management send you? Are you keeping a log?"

"No," was his only response, with no further explanation of whether or not he was indeed a "Fox news overlord" as he has been accused of in the past. And just like that, what had seemed like a dangerous situation about to dissolve into chaos and violence, possibly involving arson, now abated into a calmer, albeit fetid, atmosphere.

"What is the point of having a password if Fr------ is just going to give it to every Gomer who asks for it," sighed one even-tempered member. "This room belongs to all of us, not just him, he shouldn't do that."

One by one, the group members slipped away, some noticeably intoxicated, most very quiet, and few happier for the experience. All, however, agreed they would be back in a couple of days.

"You know the crop circles thing," mused one Illinois blogger who lives near a corn field, "I can see how that just might work."
20 Comments |  Add a Comment

Member Comments Total Comments: 20
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Peagcu read my blog
May 12, 2008 | 7:26 AM

Tell all those wussies to come out and play again. just because the stuff falling isn't white doesn't mean it isn't weather. There is more than one season in STL. Really.

dschreib
May 12, 2008 | 8:33 AM

I'm taking my rain gauge and going home...

jeepers4559 read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 8:40 AM

;)) :(( :))

ROFL!

Crop circles? And here I was meditating about supervolcanoes...

Doppler read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 3:16 PM

Thats funny:) Crop circles? The moive signs lol.

WebsterGroves read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 4:10 PM

There is more than one season in STL. Really.

Traitor.

snowman99 read my blog
May 12, 2008 | 4:15 PM

Let's all wait for Ball Lightning to occur, then we can talk about that. It's weather, it's real, and it never happens to anyone people know. Hmmm
Crop circles are cool. fake but cool.
Jeepers-waiting for Yellowstone to blow up..that'd be interesting and the end of life as we know it..lol.
There are 2 seasons in st louis. ..snow and no snow.

WebsterGroves read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 4:22 PM

Well, crop circles are real - maybe you meant the belief that they're caused by UFOs is fake?

reb333 view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 7:12 PM

Webster- I love it.

jeepers4559 read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 9:53 PM

Snowman, you've got to admit that contemplating the end of life as we know it is far more exciting than my current reality, which is trying to get puppies to tinkle in the backyard when it's raining and muddy.

I heard a little thunder the other night. The wind blew. A aaw some lightening. Then it stopped.

*snore*

guyatacomputer read my blog view my photos
May 12, 2008 | 9:58 PM

Jeepers depending on the size of the puppy/ dog-to-be consider what we did. We've got our dog trained to use a pan inside. Definitely an advantage at 3 AM, or when it's 5 below or storming.

It won't work if the dog is a Shepard, but ours is a maltipoo.

jeepers4559 read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 6:30 AM

One is a lab/shep mix and the other a lab/? mix. We've got puppy pads, but there isn't a pad in the world big enough to hold all of that! LOL That reminds me, I'm shamnpooing the carpet AGAIN today...

jeepers4559 read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 6:33 AM

Btw, I've heard lightening and seen flashes of thunder already for the last 15 min or so. Strange to see the sun coming up and reflecting off of homes behind me, while seeing lightening over their rooftops...

jeepers4559 read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 6:43 AM

Rain.

WebsterGroves read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 7:08 AM

Jeepers - you might want to get a SpotBot if you don't already have one. Great for pet accidents and kid spills - I got mine at Target marked WAY down.

WebsterGroves read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 7:11 AM

Rain just starting. Thunder and lightning.

reb333 view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 8:10 AM

Thunder here and light rain.

dschreib
May 13, 2008 | 8:43 AM

We could also talk about black holes and anti-matter.
If we're stuck on the crop circles, though, I could either mow some funny designs in my 4 acres of grass (unless somebody else wants to come do it--hint, hint) or wait until the neighbor gets his corn in. I have to admit, I'm not really "in the know" on those. Once I have my design, should I scatter the stalks randomly or push them all over in an outward direction?

Peagcu read my blog
May 13, 2008 | 9:37 AM

Ah Webster, it hailed a bit here in Hecker. Tell all those poor souls about that ICE! There can be joy after snow.

Medic06 read my blog view my photos
May 13, 2008 | 9:53 AM

that was funny wg

foxfan1 read my blog
May 14, 2008 | 8:29 PM

wg, that made me laugh so much my laptop screen got an A&W shower. Hopefully chris gets a chance to see this sometime.

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WebsterGroves

Jingoism is not patriotism.

Member Since: 11/30/2006