MyFoxSTL

In what can only be described as a dramatic turn of events in what has already been an unsettling weather pattern, an anonymous weather blogger has claimed responsibility for not only the record snowfalls of last winter but, astonishingly, the recent earthquakes that have rattled the St Louis area.

Regular bloggers will recall the startling announcement this unidentified blogger made last Fall regarding a "weather machine" he built that he claimed would make it snow. In a tirade laced with expletives and threats of violence and tinged with flashes of coherence, the Pacific-area businessman demonstrated how the machine would make it snow. With only this reporter and a fellow blogger in attendance, the "snowman maker" (not his real name) explained how this seemingly simple metal device hidden in a cornfield would produce snow for the area.

A Pacific video store owner demonstrates his weather machine to a fellow weather blogger. Chicago meteorologist Tom Skilling was also spotted darting furtively in the corn.

National Weather Service mets scoffed at the "machine" at the time. "Sure, I can easily see how he could control the weather for Pacific," said a met who only wished to be identified as TRUETT, "but for the whole St Louis region? I think NOT!"

One TV meteorologist said "I kept thinking the snow would end in 30 minutes, but by gum if it didn't snow for, like, 6 more hours. Literally."

Now, few are laughing and many skeptics are converts to the "weather machine" concept of controlling the weather.

We were recently invited to see previously unseen components of the weather machine complex, provided we did not identify the Pacific video store owner and Union resident's identity. We immediately agreed.

After the obligatory trek through the corn to see the "mother ship", "Snowman" took us to see the actual snow-making contraption and even turned started it up for a quick demonstration. We were allowed to take a photo as long as all identifying landmarks were blocked out. We believe the photo below of this new technology will blow your mind.

Snowman99, weather blogger at Channel 2, turned on his snow-making machine, which he claims was responsible for the record snowfalls this past winter

The most bizarre and astonishing device was yet to be seen, however. We were invited into the basement of the video store, where a beaming "Snowman99" showed us his latest machine. "I call it the 'earthquake machine' ", he said. "The wires are infused with electricity while the big wheel spins - creating what scientists call a 'vortex of circumlocution'. Or is it circular electricity? I always get those 2 mixed up."

Basically, the high levels of electricity spinning on the spools create an energy field that reacts in a seismic fashion to disrupt plate tectonics and create earthquakes.

The weather blogger stands in front of his "earthquake machine" which he claims is responsible for the recent seismic activity in the St Louis area. It runs off a small battery (in case of power outage) and includes a small warning note to himself to turn off his cell phone before switching on the machine.

"I'm actually an earthquake skeptic", he said, noting that he does not believe earthquakes occur naturally but are only controlled by anthropogenic sources. "I'm going to increase the size of these spools to the ones they use for telephone wire (do they still use those?) and then we'll see this place REALLY shake!" he promised.

"My control needs a little fine-tuning," he laughed. "This morning I was like 'dude, that was totally NOT supposed to be in Fenton'", explaining that he intended it for the Belleville area. "I'm trying to keep them on the east side or down in New Madrid, but I had a call come in on my cell right at the critical point and well, I use Cingular, so there was interference."

When asked if there was by any chance ANOTHER machine responsible for the flooding, he leaped over the counter with one fist pulled back as if to strike, and said in a threatening manner, "If I didn't have to go wait on a customer right now, I would not let you leave here without a good beating." This leads us to believe that there is yet more to be discovered at this unidentified video store in Pacific.

WebsterGroves's Blog

Weather Blogger Claims Responsibility For Earthquake(s); Record Snowfall

WebsterGroves

Inside Fox:
Features People Morning Show Politics Contact Us

Write your comment below: Email me when a new comment is added to this entry