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by WebsterGroves from Webster Groves

Last Post 2 days, 9 hours Ago


In news that has stunned the St Louis Weather community, it was announced today that the Channel 2 Weather Team has been implicated in the ongoing steroid scandal and that Chief Meteorologist Dave Murray has been named in the Mitchell Report . Rumors first surfaced last May when Murray testified before the Congressional Committee placed in charge of investigating the apparent rampant use of steroids among professional meteorologists.

During Murray's testimony, very little was learned as he began his opening statement saying "I'm not here to talk about the past." He refused to be specific in his answers and only talked in vague generalities. Murray's salary is estimated to be in the $20-$30 million range, not including bonuses for higher snowfall totals and a grade of B+ or higher from bloggers on his seasonal forecasts. Thus far, the bloggers have never given him higher than a B, and speculation is that Murray was under pressure to use artificial means to raise the grade.


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Channel 2 Chief Meteorologist Dave Murray testifying before Congress last May

Reached for comment, Murray angrily denounced the investigation as "rubbish" before casually tossing the television news van out of his way and devouring a live cow.

Area weather enthusiasts were both angry and disappointed. "It all makes sense now," said a Brighton weatherman, who asked not to be identified. "I had noticed that the temperature ranges in his forecasts were just WAY out of the normal prediction range and I know it wasn't just because of the math," he went on to say. "I think this is a black eye on weather in general," noting to say he was first shocked when popular meteorological star, Henry Margusity admitted to decades of steroid and human growth hormone use and is awaiting sentencing for lying to Congress and obstructing an FBI investigation.

Brighton Weatherman pointed out that Margusity had long been suspected of using artificial means to improve his forecasts. "If you're a close follower of the weather, as I am, it was obvious Henry was using. His snowfall maps were amped, his videos were enormous and out of control, and he seemed to have increasing trouble making a decision and 'sticking to his guns', to use a term. Now we know Margusity was just the tip of the iceberg."

Channel 2 news had erroneously initially reported that Meteorologist Chris Higgins's name was also on the list, but Higgins vehemently denied ever taking steroids, screaming "I am not juiced!" to anyone who would listen.

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Meteorologist Chris Higgins who was erroneously reported as being on the list of steroid users

His agent released a statement to the media today:

"It has come to my attention that several national and local news outlets have published false reports that associated my name with the Mitchell Report. I have never disrespected, nor cheated the science of meteorology and knew without a doubt that my name would not be mentioned in the official investigation. I would like to express how upset and disappointed I am over the reckless reporting that took place this morning. It has caused me and my family a lot of senseless aggravation due to their inaccurate information.

"What concerns me, is the affect this has had on my family and that my character and values have now been questioned due to the media's lack of accuracy in their reporting. I have never had a problem with the media when they do their job correctly, whether it is positive or negative -- just as long as they report truthfully. After all, I AM the media, too.

"I would like to thank my fans and bloggers for their continued support and never doubting my integrity. God has blessed me and allowed me the ability to predict the weather that I would never take for granted."



7 Comments |  Add a Comment

Member Comments Total Comments: 7
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DaveMurray read my blog view my photos
Dec 17, 2007 | 9:36 PM

Great fun...dave

BRTNWXMAN read my blog view my photos
Dec 18, 2007 | 11:27 AM

Book 'em Danno...

=)

weatherman222 read my blog view my photos
Dec 18, 2007 | 3:45 PM

I tell you what webster these reports are great! Greatly enjoyed and keep up the good work!

Peagcu read my blog
Dec 18, 2007 | 4:52 PM

LOL

jeepers4559 read my blog view my photos
Dec 18, 2007 | 6:06 PM

OMG! "...devouring a live cow..."

LOL

Web, you are an artist with words! :D

TheGuruStud
Dec 18, 2007 | 11:24 PM

ROFLMFAO!!!

Super job, BUT you've got to learn how to use photoshop lol :D

WebsterGroves read my blog view my photos
Dec 19, 2007 | 6:41 AM

Photoshop? This is MS Paint, baby. The crudest of the crude. Check out the big chunk I took out of "Edward's" head in the hot air balloon.

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WebsterGroves

Jingoism is not patriotism.

Member Since: 11/30/2006